theBrideScoop

TIP TUESDAY: Email Elizabeth for Etiquette – Adults Only Please

July 5, 2011 By Guest Writer Leave a Comment

Dear Elizabeth – My fiancé and I want an “adults only” wedding reception. We are concerned that some of the more distant (both in relationship and miles) guests will want to bring their young children. How do we manage this? – Older Bride & Groom

Dear Older and (Hopefully) Wiser,

First off, the invitation (both outer envelope and inner envelope) should have ONLY the names of the guests who are invited.
- Mr. & Mrs. John Smith (outer envelope)
- Mr. & Mrs. Smith (inner envelope) or you may also use first names on the inner envelope if you want

Second, you can note on the reception card – “Adults only please”.

Thirdly, if anyone calls or emails and directly asks if they can bring their kids, you say no. Do not apologize. This is your wedding. Of course, you do not want to snap their heads (well you might)… but say instead, “Debbie, John and I, along with our parents have decided that we want just adults at our wedding. I hope to see you there but we will miss you if cannot attend.” You must also make sure that all are on board with this decision, so that they can also answer in the same way!

This does two things. It lets Debbie know that this is not just your decision (also the groom and both sets of parents). It also lets her know that you mean it! It is possible that someone will just bring the kids. If so, suck it up and find some booster chairs. Be gracious in defeat.

Best,
Elizabeth

TIP TUESDAY: Email Elizabeth for Etiquette – Battle for Black Tie

June 28, 2011 By Guest Writer Leave a Comment

Dear Elizabeth – My fiance and I want to put “Black Tie” on the invitation but my future mother in law does not agree with us. Our wedding is on a Saturday at 4:00 p.m. in the afternoon with the reception at a very nice hotel. I am concerned that some of my guests will not wear “nice” clothes for my wedding. I have seen men showing up in golf shirts and khakis to weddings! This argument is causing quite a challenge to both of our families. Please help!
- Dressed Up Diva

Dear Dressed Up Diva,

I can certainly understand your desire to have a fancy wedding. There are a couple of ways to get people thinking about what to wear, if your families are reluctant to put “Black Tie” on the invitation, try one of these two options: ”Black Tie Invited” or “Black Tie Encouraged”. Both let the attendees know that this is a dressy affair but there is not a demand to rent a tux. Please refer to a previous discussion on “Rent or Buy: That is the tuxedo question“.

Everyone knows that women love men in tuxedos (ahhhh… thinking about James Bond)! Hopefully, every woman who is invited will encourage her man to step up to the plate with at least a dark suit. Please refer to David Himmel’s article on “How Men Should Dress At Weddings“.

In the end, you cannot control what people will wear. But you can control how much you are going to let this bother you!

Please remember, you are marrying the man of your dreams… and if Uncle Joe shows up in a golf shirt, so be it. Twenty years from now, you will probably still cringe at those few family photos, but your guy will never wear a golf shirt to a wedding!

Best,
Elizabeth

TIP TUESDAY: Email Elizabeth for Etiquette – RSVP Management

June 14, 2011 By Guest Writer 1 Comment

Dear Elizabeth – Our wedding invitations are almost ready to be sent out and my mom threw me for a loop! She asked me how I will know when all my RSVPs are back in. I simply thought I would know. – Wrecked in RSVP Land

Dear Wrecked - In today’s day and age of technology, I assume you probably have a detailed spreadsheet with all kinds of guest information.

But I have a much more simple way of managing RSVPs (or use is as a double check to your spreadsheet!). When addressing your wedding invitations, assign a number to each invite. Mark the back of the response card in light pencil with that number then you can check to see who has responded.

There is an EXTRA benefit with this tip! Guess what? Not everyone has readable penmanship – or even better, they checked attending but forgot to write their name on the response card – and with this little numbering system, you will know exactly who those people are!

Best!
Elizabeth

TIP TUESDAY is going to be AMAZING!

June 13, 2011 By theBrideScoop Editor 2 Comments

Dear theBrideScoop Readers,

Our gift to you… an entire day of TIP TUESDAY!!!

You will start getting healthy with SKo-Fit. You will start using the “right” beauty products with Beauty on Call. Need help with RSVPs, Email Elizabeth for Etiquette. You will know the difference between types of stationery courtesy of Erickson Design.

All that and we are just getting started! Do you have a TIP TUESDAY idea? Please post it in a comment or email the Editor at editor@theBrideScoop.com and we promise to follow up on it!

TIP TUESDAY: Email Elizabeth for Etiquette – Choosing Wedding Colors

May 24, 2011 By Guest Writer Leave a Comment

Dear Elizabeth – My fiance and I cannot agree on colors for our wedding. How should we narrow down the choices? – Rainbow Riot

Dear Rainbow Riot – The etiquette patrol feels your pain! There is a lot to consider when choosing your wedding decor. May we suggest some parameters that may assist you in narrowing the rainbow?

- Reception space: If your ballroom is decked out in gold, silver may not be an optimal choice. Consider the built in decor of your reception space.
- “Lucky” colors: If your culture has a lucky color, you may want to consider incorporating it into your color palette.
- Go neutral: Weddings already have a “natural” color of either white or cream so use it as a base and add one strong color to make it pop!

How many colors is too many? To make your color selection really stand out, pick two main colors plus a metallic or neutral color. Happy decorating!

Best,
Elizabeth

TIP TUESDAY: Email Elizabeth for Etiquette – Thank You Notes

May 17, 2011 By Guest Writer Leave a Comment

Dear Elizabeth – We heard about a tradition of sending “gift acknowledgement cards”. Can we do that in lieu of thank you cards? – Frazzled Bride

Dear Frazzled Bride – Historically, you are correct… but you are sorely out of date! In the good old days of three month honeymoons, a member of the household staff would send an acknowledgement of a gift received. Back to the present, it is a cop out.

Your thank you note should be written within a month of your wedding (a great goal!), it should be handwritten, it should mention something specific about the gift or the gift giver in relation to your wedding and it should be signed by the both of you.

Best,
Elizabeth

P.S. My other tip to you is to address the envelope when you receive the gift and write the note after the wedding or, if you are feeling ambitious, go ahead and write that thank you card! The gift giver will be touched by knowing you received their gift and love the item! Promise.