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Thank you to our friends at Sex, Cigars & Booze Lifestyle Magazine for their Dr. Seuss themed poem: Sex…
I would like it here or there.
I would like it anywhere.
I will do it in a car.
I will do it under a star.
Get Your Sexy Dr. Seuss On! (Photo from www.sexcigarsbooze.com)
I was at a business breakfast this morning. Lots of networking types. I walked in and saw a girl with her back to me. She looked just like the girl I recently ended things with. It threw me because this was hardly her network. And I panicked a bit because I ended things poorly.
Is that my ex?!?! (Photo from www.emmaisaacs.com)
I am an old school lover. I believe in opening a door for a lady when we approach one, offering my seat to a woman who is standing, remembering to put the toilet seat down and, of course, helping my lady to orgasm first. The latter belief may be more from the “New School” of thought than the “Old School” one, and I can not truthfully swear that I am successful at it 100 percent of the time. But I give it the old college try every time and I definitely believe that it’s the gentlemanly, as well as the intelligent, thing to do.
Let's Get It On! (Photo by Blue Images/Corbis)
I like the Kentucky Derby. I’d love to go there someday, to Churchill Downs and experience the thrill of what is called “the greatest two minutes in sports.” Yeah, it’d be fun to be down there, among all the big hats and put my money on a steed with a name like, Grandpa’s Baby Bottle.
Dangling Horses Give It A Little Something Extra, Don't You Think?!?! (Photo by Don Emmert for AFP)
Someone told me that William and Kate have been married a year this week. So I told that someone, “I don’t care.” And I don’t. Although, I am surprised it’s been a year already. I promised myself I was going to find out what William’s last name was a year ago and I haven’t even begun to search Wikipedia. Again, it’s because I really don’t care. Does he even have a last name? Did his mother? Not that it matters anymore…
Pippa's Derriere (Photo from www.unsoliciteddrivel.com)
I’ve been in Los Angeles the last few days and last night I saw a gorgeous woman with a schlub of a guy one of L.A’s hip, hot spots. They looked completely mismatched but were both wearing wedding rings. I could overhear their conversation and they weren’t talking like a married couple. They weren’t even talking like two people having an affair. It was small talk. Like first date kind of chatter.
Things May Not Seem Like What They Truly Are (Photo from www.madamenoire.com)
A lawyer friend of mine told me one of his clients wants to sleep with him. She’s an attractive enough girl so I told him to go for it. “Nah. That would mess things up. I’d rather have the paycheck than the affection,” he said.
“Taking the moral high ground, huh?” I said.
“If the reason to not sleep with her is only to take her money, sure.”
Keep This A Secret (Photo from www.newyorkpersonalinjuryattorneyblog.com)
Think David Himmel is funny (we do!) or just plain cynical, follow him on twitter and facebook or read more original articles on his blog.
Recently, several of my ex-girlfriends became engaged to the gentlemen they were dating. By “several,” I mean, two. And by “gentlemen,” I’m just being polite. I have no facts to back that theory up because I don’t know either of them. And I’m fine with that. Yet, I feel that in a small way, these gents and I are somehow bonded. Like by a common enemy.
Oh Hell No! (Photo from www.zazzle.com)
I met a real pretty, charming and intelligent woman earlier this week. She’s married. It’s probably better that way. I’d hate to ruin my perception of her by getting to know her. She’s a perfect stranger.
Perfect Stranger (Photo from www.ftextures.com)
Think David Himmel is funny (we do!) or just plain cynical, follow him on twitter and facebook or read more original articles on his blog.
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Hi @PaulPannone! Thanks for the fun #tuxedo conversation this week! Wishing you a fabulous #FF! #truth RT @OhhiLoveWhenYou So many girls fall in love with the wrong guy, simply because the wrong guy usually says all the right things.
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