I watch in awesome wonder
As winter’s on the wing
And our God in loving kindness
Sends the season we call “spring.”
~ Kay Hoffman

Spring is my favorite time of year.  It always falls about two and a half months after New Year’s Day – that day when I felt so good about my life, my hopes and my expectations for the coming year.  That two and a half months is usually just enough time to help me realize that I better get “back on the horse” and begin to focus on my goals again.  For the year is passing swiftly and summer is just around the corner.

Spring in Chicago! (Photo from www.worldbusinesschicago.com)

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“Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream.  Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily life is but a dream.”

Row, Row, Row Your Boat (Photo by Deborah Cavenaugh)

I had a dream about you last night.  And I was in it too.   And you were being you.  And I was being me.

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These are just pet peeves – not necessarily facts or absolute spiritual laws – just pet peeves.

The person who says “No, no, no, no, no, no, no.  Uh uh, uh uh, nooooooo way.  I’m not doing that!  Uh uh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, absolutely not!  Noooo.”  Damn it!  Just say “no” once and shut the hell up!

NO NO NO NO NO! (Photo from www.tribblogs.com)

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Who wrote these wedding vows anyway?

“Do you promise to love, honor and cherish… as long as you both shall live?”

Right outta the gate, you’re making promises that you can’t keep.  Love is a feeling.  If you treat me like shit, I’m not gonna have a feeling of love for you.  So how can I promise that I’m gonna love you “’til death do us part?”  It’s a fundamentally flawed vow!

Think About Your Vows (Photo from www.weddings-paradise.com)

Now, I do believe, strongly, in the other parts of the vow – the honor and cherish part.  These are legitimate actions.  I can honor you even if I’m mad at you.  I can cherish you even if I don’t feel like it.  And I think they should add “appreciate” to the vows.  Take out “love” and add “appreciate”.  ’Cause when it really comes down to it, you can’t regulate a person’s love for you, so why try.  They either love you or they don’t!

And “love” is very much overrated anyway.  Tiger Woods, Jesse James and many of the other infamous philanderers loved their wives dearly.  What they didn’t do is appreciate what they had while they had it.  Your woman totally needs to be appreciated.  And appreciation can be quantified!

So, the new wedding vows should read, “Do you promise to honor, cherish and appreciate your bride as long as you both shall live?”  And your answer is:  ”I do”.  Or “I will”.  Or whatever we’re supposed to say.

But we really should honor, cherish and appreciate our women.  For out of all the hard-legged dudes that shot plenty of game her way, over the years, she has chosen you.  She sees something different in you – something unique.  So treat her like the royal princess that she is.  Cherish her as you would a gem.  And you will reap what you sow.

Try to remember that you don’t deserve her.  She is a gift that you did not earn.  Your advanced degrees don’t qualify you to receive her.  The $600,000 in your various investment accounts doesn’t give you the right to her devotion.  Your good looks, nor any of your other skills, possessions, awards or honors, don’t guarantee you that such an amazing woman will want to live the rest of her life with you.  So treat her with the awe that she deserves.

She is priceless and irreplaceable - mostly because she absolutely adores you.  It is so difficult for us guys to get this through our thick heads.  ‘Cause we think we’re so cool.  We think we’re so smart and so talented.  We think we’re so witty and macho and tough.  But, trust me, when you witness your woman giving birth to a beautiful baby – that is when you will see true toughness.

Also remember that your lady has many other options should she ever choose to exercise them.  So don’t ever get lax with your adherence to these vows.  Beyonce is right when she says a woman can “have another you in a minute.  In fact, he’ll be here in a minute, baby.”  So take all of this into account as you journey down the path called “your relationship”.  You’re welcome!

Honor, cherish and appreciate your wife to be, and (nine times out of ten) she will turn your house into a home.  Honor, cherish and appreciate your girl, and she will show you a world of love that you probably would never have had access to.  Honor, cherish and appreciate your lady, and she will always have your back through the good times and the bad.  Because if you do all of these things for your lovely bride, she sure as hell better!

Many years ago, Dr. Anthony Campolo, a sociologist, spoke about a study in which 50 people, all over the age of 95, were asked the question, “If you had the opportunity to live your life over again, what would you do differently?”  I have always found this to be an intriguing question.  And the answers, more significant when coming from people who have lived such long lives.  Their answers can be a wise roadmap for those of us seeking to create and live amazing lives going forward;  lives that honor our deepest truths and fulfill our highest callings.  Or, simply, lives that are worth living.  These seniors’ answers were varied.  But generally, they said that they would:

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