I was at a business breakfast this morning.  Lots of networking types.  I walked in and saw a girl with her back to me.  She looked just like the girl I recently ended things with.  It threw me because this was hardly her network.  And I panicked a bit because I ended things poorly.

Is that my ex?!?! (Photo from www.emmaisaacs.com)

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I like the Kentucky Derby.  I’d love to go there someday, to Churchill Downs and experience the thrill of what is called “the greatest two minutes in sports.”  Yeah, it’d be fun to be down there, among all the big hats and put my money on a steed with a name like, Grandpa’s Baby Bottle.

Dangling Horses Give It A Little Something Extra, Don't You Think?!?! (Photo by Don Emmert for AFP)

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Girl & Boy (Photo from www.sayingimages.com)

That slut was her alter ego who reared her face after she got comfortable.

Think David Himmel is funny (we do!) or just plain cynical, follow him on twitter and facebook or read more original articles on his blog.

I’ve been in Los Angeles the last few days and last night I saw a gorgeous woman with a schlub of a guy one of L.A’s hip, hot spots.  They looked completely mismatched but were both wearing wedding rings.  I could overhear their conversation and they weren’t talking like a married couple.  They weren’t even talking like two people having an affair.  It was small talk.  Like first date kind of chatter.

Things May Not Seem Like What They Truly Are (Photo from www.madamenoire.com)

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A lawyer friend of mine told me one of his clients wants to sleep with him.  She’s an attractive enough girl so I told him to go for it.  “Nah.  That would mess things up.  I’d rather have the paycheck than the affection,” he said.

“Taking the moral high ground, huh?” I said.

“If the reason to not sleep with her is only to take her money, sure.”

Keep This A Secret (Photo from www.newyorkpersonalinjuryattorneyblog.com)

Think David Himmel is funny (we do!) or just plain cynical, follow him on twitter and facebook or read more original articles on his blog.

Recently, several of my ex-girlfriends became engaged to the gentlemen they were dating.  By “several,” I mean, two.  And by “gentlemen,” I’m just being polite.  I have no facts to back that theory up because I don’t know either of them.  And I’m fine with that.  Yet, I feel that in a small way, these gents and I are somehow bonded.  Like by a common enemy.

Oh Hell No! (Photo from www.zazzle.com)

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I met a real pretty, charming and intelligent woman earlier this week.  She’s married.  It’s probably better that way.  I’d hate to ruin my perception of her by getting to know her.  She’s a perfect stranger.

Perfect Stranger (Photo from www.ftextures.com)

Think David Himmel is funny (we do!) or just plain cynical, follow him on twitter and facebook or read more original articles on his blog.

I’m quick to blame myself for just about anything.  In fact, I’m near certain I had something to do with the JFK assassination.  But because of this, I’m an incredible boyfriend because she is always right.

Word! (Photo by Torley)

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St. Patrick’s Day in Chicago might as well be renamed, “Public Sex is OK When the River is Green Day.”  Or, more simply, “PSOWRGD.”  Some people find the bedroom the ideal place for romance, but as we learn in the following essay, that’s not always true.

Making Out in Bars (Photo from www.pbase.com)

Making Out in Bars
Making out.  It’s one of the most fun and useful ways to spend time.  There’s an art to doing it well.  And there’s a foul kind of honor when it’s done with strangers at a bar.  This sort of activity results in high fives from your buddies and scoffs of disgust from your gal pals.  A make out session in a bar is a result of two things;  passion and drunkenness.  They often work together but there are times when the lip service is simply a result of the hooch spanking your libido.  Here are stories about both.

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