My favorite immigration officials are quiet.  They look you in the eye and wave you on.  They are cold and leave the friendliness to the tourism board.  However, the worst agent is one who says, “You, come here”.

While I love traveling, my least favorite place on earth is the no-mans land between immigration checkpoints – especially when traveling on land.  I’ve been through my share of scanners and inspections but the eerie silence between your exit stamp and entry permit has always been unnerving.

Immigration Issues (Photo from www.thedkdiary.com)

Only once have I heard, “You, come here”.  I was escaping Taiwan.  After spending a far too much time dealing with visas and taxation in Little China, I decided it was time to move on.  I thought my visa was good until October and I was leaving in July on a one-way-ticket to Bangkok.  My mind went blank as two guards escorted me into a dim room.

A man was speaking rather furiously to me in a foreign tongue.  My little bit of Chinese failed me and I started to speak a mile a minute in English.  He was pissed off and I was confused.  Did they know that I failed to cancel my gym membership in Taichung?  Were they worried I hadn’t paid my cell phone bill?

An agent who spoke English came in.  “You overstayed your visa by 6 months,” he sternly remarked.  He mentioned a rather hefty fine.  To emphasize his point, he calculated the fine on his pocket calculator and showed it to me.  Being in the no-mans-land between Taiwan and Thailand, I had already exchanged all my yuan to baht.  Did he want a bribe?  I had a crisp US$20 left but instead handed him my Taiwanese ID card.

Passport & Visa (Photo from www.argentinastravel.com)

“Here,” I said.  “This says I’m valid until October.”  I’m about 65% confident that was the truth.  I never fully understood the visa process in Taiwan.

“My computer says otherwise,” he retorted.  I fished out a tax document.

“Well, I know there were some problems before.  I paid all my taxes and here’s the receipt.”  The agent scanned my paperwork.  “I can leave my sponsor’s contact info.  Maybe it will be easier to clear up any confusion with them.”

He bought it.  I wasn’t coming back to Taiwan, I had quit my job a few months early.  And, the company had just hired a new manager who never met me.  “We’ll clear this up when you come back to Taiwan,” he said.

Did he ever call?  Probably not.  But I gave him enough information so it would have been more difficult to keep me in the room than to let me go.

Will I ever be welcomed back to Taiwan?  I asked the consulate in Chicago and, as far as I know, I’m an upstanding citizen in their eyes.  I’ll probably only know next time I’m in no-mans-land.

Some tips to keep yourself safe – especially when going to a very foreign place:

1)  Make sure the entry agent stamps your passport completely and clearly.  I’ve heard stories of people detained upon exit because their stamp is “too light” to read.  The truth is that the agent is soliciting a bribe.  Save yourself the trouble (and $200, a standard bribe) and check before walking from entry.

2)  Keep all your travel documents at hand.  More than just a your passport and visa.  The agent is looking to keep bad people out and proving yourself an upstanding tourist is easy with a hotel confirmation.  At the very least, show them a ticket out of the country.

3)  Be calm and do not make jokes.  This isn’t the time to practice your high school French, as I learned when I accidentally asked an agent in Paris where her bedroom is (when I just wanted to find a bathroom).

Want to know more about what I know?  Look for more “Jim Knows” in the future or follow me on twitter or read my blog or buy my tea, Shui Tea.