Cynics Corner: Post Nuptial Depression

You know, so many women spend their first 20-something or 30-something years dreaming of the day when they’ll be a bride. And when the day finally comes, and the 18-hours, or so, of actual wedding stuff passes, they’re left a little empty inside. Because what now? The dream has come and gone. They have their dress vacuum sealed and hung in the back of a closet, never to be touched again – save for the occasional showing decades later when their memories start to slip away.

Depressed Married Woman (Photo from www.lovestruckbride.wordpress.com)

Emptiness. Because being a bride, having a wedding is nothing like being married and having a life. So there’s this longing for more hoopla and self-centered celebration. That’s why they have kids. The kid is someone else to think about because thinking about their own empty lives is too much to bear. Then they have a new one… and again. Maybe one more.

But then the kids grow up and don’t need their mommy every moment of every day and once again, these girls are depressed. So, they drink, become complacent and sedentary. They stop having sex with their husbands and guilt their children into feeling bad about themselves because mommy feels awful about herself.

Everyone loves her, sure, she’s mom, she’s his wife, but she’s not really all that likable. These moms and wives become a bloated shadow of the young, vibrant, exciting women they were all those years ago.

Thankfully, they made sure their parents dropped tens of thousands of dollars on flowers and photos so they can flip through their wedding albums and prove to themselves and others (if anyone is even around to listen anymore) that one day, for one day, they were perfect. Ah… to dream once again.

These women forget – they spend they’re entire lives forgetting, that being a bride is just a few hours’ title required by religious and legislative convention to celebrate something bigger than the dress, bigger than the place cards. And because these women forget, they end up hollow by the end.

It’s sad, really… And it’s true. I’ve seen it a million times.

Written by Himmel Ink

David Himmel is Principal of the creative firm Himmel, Ink and concurrently serves as Managing Editor of Chicago Health magazine. He has written and produced several comedic plays, which have shown on various Chicago stages. His first book, A Camp Story, was published in May 2012.

David is author of Friday’s CYNICS CORNER on theBrideScoop where he opines on relationship craziness.

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