Hey All!
Well, we’ll start off with good news… PHOTOGRAPHER BOOKED! We have picked the amazing Kevin Weinstein!!! It took about five minutes to know that he was our guy when we walked into his studio! Such a relaxing atmosphere and such a nice way to wrap up a rainy and (unseasonably) cold day! It’s always nice to pick someone who you just felt a connection with. After some back and forth about prices and budget, we realized that someone who will be capturing your day for you from start to finish is something that is well worth the money you spend! Was Kevin a little pricier than the others? Maybe a bit but with what he offers in the complete package and his personable demeanor and great “jive” with us, we knew this was the guy for the job! We are looking forward to meeting with him in a few months for a little “engagement” session (or as we like to call “Look, we lost weight before the wedding!” photo shoot)!!!
Now, onto the sobering reality of the views some people still have toward gay people. Bear in mind, this is still VERY fresh and is a complete 180 from the excitement we have over the wonderful photographer we chose for the big day.
On Saturday, October 15th, at 7:30 p.m. at Illinois State University (CJ’s alma mater), Dr. Tim was attacked for standing up against the word faggot.
The story breaks down like this: We were leaving an old bar CJ used to go to in college to go back to our hotel and freshen up when a guy approached us to ask for a lighter. As we were about to give him one, he said “Some faggot just kicked me out of the bar and I don’t have a lighter”. We both stopped reaching for our lighters and Tim said, “You know, I really don’t like that word” and the guy said, “Oh, I guess I won’t be getting a lighter from you guys” to which Tim replied, “I guess not”. The guy walked away and everything seemed fine (CJ was still a little leery).
All of a sudden out of nowhere the guy starts yelling at Tim and says, “If you don’t like the word faggot, then you must be a fucking faggot”. We tried to ignore him but then what felt like a split second later, the guy was up in Tim’s face, grabbed him on both sides of his head and head-butted him full force and threw him in the street. Now, this could have been even worse but luckily there was a red light as the street Tim was thrown in is one of the busiest in the campus area at ISU. CJ got Tim out of the street and got him seated in the grass on the side of the bar and then ran into the bar and told everyone that Tim was attacked - to which all of our friends jumped to their feet and came outside. By this point, Tim’s injuries had turned for the worse and blood was pouring from him nose, he was bleeding from his elbow and the bruises were already forming - the bar was very nice and brought him towels (see, there are still good people out there).
The part that makes us scratch our heads is that the guy that did this to Tim came back to the bar and was telling one of his friends that “That’s the guy I did it to”. CJ noticed him after the guy asked him for a lighter AGAIN! (You have GOT TO be kidding us!!!) Once, the guy realized who he was, he took off. Our friend tried to take his picture but he swatted at her hand and ran across the street into another bar. He then came back AGAIN and our other friend pretended to be a single lady who wanted to “Get to know him” - so she walked with the guy and his friend while a couple guys watched to make sure she was okay.
The whole time we were waiting for the police to show up – and they finally caught the guy behind the good ole TKE house! Besides the whole being attacked thing, the scariest part is, when our friend was walking with them to “track them” – the guy told his friend that “that guy got exactly what he deserved”.
It breaks our hearts to think that people STILL have an issue with gay people. That other people feel like they have the right to use words like faggot and think they should just be allowed to get away with it. It sickens us that, the next morning at breakfast, it felt like every straight man in the restaurant was staring at us because they wanted to attack. It makes us angry that we don’t want to be in straight bars anymore because of the hateful glare or the horrible comments that straight men feel that they can make. It crushed us that the next day our friend was called a faggot at the Bear’s game because someone felt like they had the right to say that.
We both decided that the best way to handle this wasn’t to talk to our straight male friends but to talk to their girlfriends and wives to tell them to tell their husbands that it is NOT OKAY to use hateful words. It is not OKAY to call your other straight friends gay or fag.
It has to stop. It just has to.
CJ and Dr. Tim
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All I can offer is my support, my faith that people will change, and my solidarity for the cause. Thank you for sharing your story. It’s important for young LGBT to know this still exists and how to handle it with bravery and class. Well done.
On a brighter note…congratulations on hiring Kevin Weinstein! He’s a dear friend of mine and one of the best in the business. You won’t be disappointed.
My heart goes out to you. What a heinous thing to have happen. You should know that you have my support in any and all ways you need it. Prayers for fast healing, both physical and emotional, for both of you.
VIOLENCE IS NOT OK! PREJUDICE IS NOT OK! THIS IS NOT OK!
xo, Tatiana
I honestly think we all have a lot to learn, regardless of your liberal status or not. Now that gay Civil Unions are legal, and I get quite a few inquires for them, and have 3 on the books for next year, I had a few people tell me to be careful not to get type-casted as a Gay Wedding Photographer. And this comes from people who I know for a fact have not ONE issue with the gays. I have also been told be 2 colleagues that I am getting these bookings because I am gay. Really, I want you all to think about these two statements. And I am not posting this to gain support. I just want people to realize that even the most liberal have YEARS and DECADES of what is normal, not normal, allowed, not allowed, legal, not legal etc stuck in our heads. I, too, am guilty of this. And I am gay. But the most important thing in anyone’s life is to strive to acknowledge this, ask why and where did it come from, question your thoughts and actions and make every attempt to lift yourself beyond it.
Thank you both! It’s so great to know that there really is a “family” here and the support is amazing! I hope that this can get out there to as many people as possible and make them realize that no one is safe from hate – but if we all just take a step back and realize that words can do so many things (physical violence aside) – then maybe people will start choosing words of love over words of hate.
And Michael, we are SUPER excited to work with Kevin!!!!