Michael Faltum: Mr. Fix It

I don’t know about you but I’ve become completely addicted to someecards on Facebook. You know the ones… a vintage illustration with a sarcastic or funny saying attached usually involving alcohol and a regretful situation. Honestly, I can’t get enough of them. I read them, laugh and then quickly share them on my wall.

Then there are times when these little blurbs of humor hit home and unveil the all-too-real truth about our society and those around us. While those too can be humorous, mostly they act as social commentary reflecting the unpleasant nature of humanity and the world we live in. I came across one a few days ago that not only reflected an ugly truth about society but really hit home for me. I’ve been thinking about it ever since. Heck, I’ve been thinking about it so much that I’m writing this week’s article about it.

So here it is:

Staying Together (Photo from ourecards on facebook)

When did everything become so disposable? As soon as something stops working as it should we immediately run out and replace it with a younger, faster model. There was a time when something broke you called a repairman out to fix it. Granted in most cases it’s cheaper to buy a new one rather than pay a repairman for their time and replacement parts but you get the idea. There was a certain value placed on these things. You worked hard to buy them and you wanted to keep them around for as long as possible.

The same could be said about our relationships. When the first sign of struggle rears its head, our bags are packed and we’re on to the next person. This goes for married folks as well. Look at our divorce rate… it’s over 50% and it shows no sign of decreasing any time soon. It seems there’s no incentive to maintain our relationships anymore. It’s easier to move on to the next person than to put forth the effort to fix what’s there. But there was a time when couples fought to save what they worked so hard to build.

Hey, I’m not waxing nostalgia here, nor am I naïve enough to think that every relationship can ever be fixed. If there’s any form of abuse, I’ll be the first person out front your door with a U-Haul ready to get you the hell out of there. I’m simply stating that instead of running for the door, maybe we should spend some time trying to fix our problems. Maybe we should start to treat others with a sense of value instead of as a broken-down “thing.”

When we fix something, we make it stronger. We’ve identified all faults, fixed what was fixable and accepted what couldn’t be changed. If the final result was something we could live with, it stayed on the shelf. Relationships are hard work… there’s no question of that. But when we strive to fix our problems, and do so with patience and understanding, we make our relationships stronger too.

Look, no one’s perfect. It’s time to turn off the Disney cartoons because Prince Charming doesn’t exist. The truth is we end up with someone who makes us laugh, lends a shoulder when we cry and takes out the garbage for us when we’re having a miserable day. And there will be times when that very same person will make us mad, be the reason we’re crying and let the garbage pile up. It’s going to happen. Do you think the next person won’t do the very same thing or bring a whole new set of problems? Does that make your partner disposable?

I don’t begin to think I know all the answers about relationships or the secrets to their longevity. I just think when you make a commitment to someone you should give that person your all and try to make the best of it. Mostly, I think you should treat that person as an actual person and not some “thing” that’s easily replaceable. It not only places value on your relationship and partner but it reaffirms your value as well.

After all, as someecards says:

Love You! (Photo from someecards on facebook)

Written by Michael Faltum

Michael Faltum is a historian and same-sex community activist who uses history as a tool to educate others about the struggle for equality in modern times. Friends describe him as an unabashed proponent of equal rights as well as an eloquent writer whose opinion is meticulously researched. Michael has a Master’s Degree in history from Loyola University Chicago.

He believes strongly that it’s great to know a lot about one thing but it’s more fulfilling to learn a little bit about everything. He is a writer, poet, carpenter, artist and home cook. His grandmother raised him on Chicago politics, the Cubs and Bette Davis movies. If that doesn’t sum him up, we don’t know what does.

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